tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87737192024-03-13T00:55:07.366-04:00hope...dangles on a stringthe desperate hopes, impossible dreams, dramatic trials, and random bantering of a heart meant for love, a soul made for adventure, and a life destined for meaning.only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.comBlogger317125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-63181596437090042602022-08-14T13:17:00.004-04:002022-08-14T13:19:18.440-04:00grandpaI was just in washington for my bio grandma’s funeral. I barely knew her. It was more of a loss of what could’ve been than what was. But this week my grandpa died. Not unexpected, but still a shock. He was not perfect, but he was what was and I knew he loved me. Here’s some words about him:82 years old this week. He made it to his 60th anniversary a few weeks ago as well. He only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-33644386451174796642022-08-08T07:30:00.003-04:002022-08-14T13:07:28.252-04:00bio dad “You feel victimized?”He looks at me with pity. Patronizing. As though feeling victimized was just the saddest thing I could be, having been abandoned by my biological father at three. His empty face giving me judgement instead of remorse. Never mind the world I have created for myself. Never mind the beauty and love I put into this place. I have woven a network of friendship and connectiononly a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-15672099428816454902022-08-07T18:00:00.004-04:002022-08-14T12:04:36.043-04:001st visit in 14 years We create our own reality. We live in whatever space we build for ourselves. We are responsible for our future, perhaps not our past. We choose the avenues that we walk down and who we become. We spend our life building the house that we live in. I sit here staring at the man who is responsible for all of my empty places and most of my broken pieces, who has never showed up, and Ionly a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-63700534080928605892022-08-04T11:57:00.000-04:002022-08-04T11:57:51.486-04:00Flying Time I know it’s been so long. Reading through these stories is inspiring and yet cringeworthy in some cases. I am amazed by how much time has passed. How different I am. How much I am the same. Some posts make me want to write again. Some posts remind me of how many memories are just going to forever be missing because I stopped my writing. There are some little pockets of goodness sprinkled only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-7512304477862324232022-07-31T13:11:00.007-04:002022-08-14T13:14:06.947-04:00the last time i saw her we decided to wait at the bar next door. the family chose to meet for dinner at a chinese restaurant in a strip mall and we were early. My brother, my husband and i settled into our stiff leather seats and ordered some beers. behind the counter were rows and rows of lottery tickets, so we challenged our luck and bought some to pass the time. i hadn’t been back since i was twenty three only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-18480434331626985502015-05-08T13:01:00.001-04:002015-05-08T14:47:33.044-04:00Western LemonadeSometimes life doesn't even throw you lemons.Sometimes the sweetest, coolest lemonade pours straight from the sky and quenches the thirst of your soul. We left Kentucky for a little vacation time only 4 days ago. Sure, it's beautiful. Land of bourbon and bluegrass and equine champions. But we were craving some mountains; the kind of the west, the kind that make you wonder. A wonder so only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-73887890142090906242014-11-22T11:00:00.000-05:002014-11-22T11:00:44.622-05:00updatei never even updated you that i've finished my BSN.
Volunteer in Africa : CHECK
Move to Oregon : half CHECK
Obtain my DTN @ LSHTM: CHECK
Finish my BSN: CHECK
Two years working in an ER: CHECK
5 year goals ALL (mostly) complete. (If you remember... the move to Oregon ended in my car getting stolen along with everything I owned stuffed inside...tragedy...but not really)
Here I am...STILL in only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-23586812893892730642014-05-07T22:10:00.000-04:002014-05-07T22:10:09.121-04:00tomorrow's goals:wake up and be productive!!
fix flat bike tire
get oil changed
go on bike ride
get haircut
finish laundry
complete online quiz for school
see erica
enjoy the sun
optional:
go for a run
...just one more episode of new girl...and one more glass of wine...
only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-14768800165310848832014-05-07T21:55:00.001-04:002014-05-07T21:55:28.202-04:00lovei lie my head against you
and it feels as secure and strong as the earth
after each new conversation
it's as tho my whole soul has given birth
to something fresh and light
brighter than those colorado days you tell me about
clearer than oregon waters
more profound and moving than mountain peaks
you're the height my heart seeks
"i miss you more than the mountains," you say
and yetonly a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-23754577124354604702014-03-06T01:14:00.001-05:002014-03-06T01:14:54.499-05:00fcuk<!--StartFragment-->
You know what…
I owe my mom a lot of money
I’ve usually paid it off in a month..
And I’m inlove with this guy
And 3 days is enough to make me explode
All those pent up emotions
from the days my dad failed
to the days of now
fuck
sowhat, you feel the same
act like it
and im emptying out what I have
to meet you somewhere
between there and now
I calm the only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-2409578952399706742013-11-13T22:41:00.001-05:002013-11-16T09:59:53.332-05:00Gah!I think I'm blind, deaf, and dumb when it comes to men:only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-87718201315096750902013-11-13T15:46:00.001-05:002013-11-13T15:46:48.837-05:00PoemIn light of this new eveThe end of autumn's breezeTorn from a resting placeBrought to this empty spaceShattered yet strong and newEager for life to brewMust I break mourn so soonTo crumble after a silver moon And amidst this winter chillCan warmth be found stillWarmth, pure, kind and sweetA shelter from this frozen seatStop tryingStop dyingRest in the quiet placesBuild up those safer only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-76405217996873786192013-11-10T23:03:00.001-05:002013-11-10T23:04:46.201-05:00Oh lord, what's happened?It's gone.. The last 11 months... Gone like they never came. Did it happen? Did I really meet some random guy (not so random) in a bar and somehow it worked for 8 months? Did I really have so many romantic and fun weekend adventures in Baltimore with her glittering soil, Delaware the sea I never saw, and Virginia hiking and such glorious weddings!? Did I meet a sweet black and brown dog only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-67500162232276544392013-04-05T08:00:00.001-04:002013-04-05T08:00:59.288-04:00Knocked upGetting knocked up seems like an easy way out...
BOOM! This is your life...now, deal!
Surprise! Little child to live for and worship. No more deciding what to do with yourself, you take care of the kid the best you know how.
Best case scenario, you get a guy who grows up and commits to both of you and you live out the rest of your life in this cute haphazardly becoming family.
Some positiveonly a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-33313636177795808532012-12-10T01:21:00.001-05:002012-12-10T01:21:37.352-05:00Oh lo nillyLo nilly, found in night
Left solo, echo my fright
Through empty space
Tinkling wine, bring grace
Dry, heavy, holding my own
Dreams tangled from the sown
To what is known
You are behind, my future
You are behind, my past
Leisure holds only so much luxury
Until life leaps and I grasp
Oh lo nilly, if only you were warm
I'd curl in your arms and be born
Growth comes from dark and deep
Bury me and only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-24140836475567581332012-12-07T15:35:00.002-05:002012-12-11T01:52:13.329-05:00Nightoh night I swam in perfect stream
in jungles cast with starlit sheen
sky diamonds and fireflies to blame
i'll never be the same
a second hold, a kiss over sea
crimson and gold cast glows on we
then off that cliff i leapt and flew
straight to those open arms you threw
sweet summer heat, dive into blue
the waves, the warmth, enough of you
tangled in the strength, the sway
an ocean fought and only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-39150260644787537582012-11-04T18:12:00.001-05:002012-11-04T18:12:29.689-05:00woah i need a mountaina mountain to climb
to make my heart race
to be able to just glance behind me
to see all i've accomplished
to feel challenged to keep climbing
the black and white of movement
forward. positive. right.
100 yards to being done.
or more...
but the view is worth it...
the sensation of success
the view of all you've surpassed
so clear and obvious
i've done it.
why can't papers and degrees be as clear only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-78963235167033918542012-10-09T13:27:00.000-04:002012-10-09T13:27:36.378-04:00fyootchai've accepted i'm probably not going to find myself in a long term committed relationship for a while...
right now i'm pretty set on leaving the old KY in a couple years... not digging the idea of sticking around here for so long... but it's necessary in order to meet some end goals...like travel nursing..working abroad..running around the world like a wild philanderer (partners being countries only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-21610950068775988672012-09-18T13:13:00.000-04:002012-10-09T13:13:31.755-04:00...Know what I'm looking forward to?
Travel Nursing.
In 1.5 years.
Is that too far to be looking forward?
only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-7674722351472446832012-09-12T07:30:00.003-04:002012-09-15T09:38:33.756-04:00night shiftah sludgy sludge
heart pound cake
at least you're sweet
plain, but sweet
heavy like a thud
like mud
zombie face
listlessly alive and
full of empty
will someone come clean my house...?
maybe zap me with one of those zapper things...what are they?only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-20604508237179602132012-09-12T07:22:00.002-04:002012-09-12T07:24:00.959-04:00being theresa...
things are happening. life is exciting. yes, i'm semi-convincing myself...
i'm getting 2 years of emergency nurse experience in one of the #1 ERs of kentucky.
i'm finishing my bachelor's degree.
i'm trying to practice spanish with the little spanish speaking housekeepers at work.
i'm trying to make some friends...
but a lot of times i find myself thinking:
only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-73126737942146593152012-09-07T13:57:00.002-04:002012-09-07T13:57:24.476-04:006th gradei'm not sure why i'm going to share this...
on my first day of 6th grade... (this was back in 1997 people, so give me a break!)... i thought it was a good idea to wear a short-sleeved cropped maroon sweater-shirt underneath a pair of jean overalls with a winnie-the-pooh head floating mid-chest. i also stuffed my bra with socks for the first and last time (they were lumpy and slightly distressingonly a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-65496169138951136082012-09-05T01:44:00.002-04:002012-09-05T01:45:02.544-04:00time is on crackmy life is going by too fast.
i was just in south america. not. this month will be my 4th month away from it. that's about the same length of time i was even there. but i can still think back and feel it all.. so weird.
i just now spent a good amount of misdirected time reading back on my visit to london. Wasn't I just there? Nope. It's been over a year now. A YEAR?! my god, i'm going to get only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-75953279785294399912012-08-27T14:18:00.001-04:002012-08-27T14:20:24.509-04:00unexpected yummy spelt noodle salad/spaghetti
Ingredients:
1/4 block tempeh - cut into ~1x1 squares
seasoned salt (your preference)
1/2 tsp - thyme
1/2 tsp - red pepper
1 tbs - Bragg's Amino Acids
1/2 c. onions
1 clove garlic
2 mushrooms
1/2 c. sliced carrots
1/2 c. cilantro
1 tomato
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp paprika
squirt of Bragg's
salad greens
whole spelt noodles (or whatevs)
DISCLAIMER: all measurements are only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8773719.post-5081819234744794142012-01-08T18:22:00.000-05:002012-11-04T18:27:41.874-05:00colombia and perumy trip to South America:
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only a loverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15519723200480760533noreply@blogger.com0