adventure...

oh please lord..i want adventure
i want to climb trees and explore caves...
i want to fight my way to mountain tops...and
to race someone to the waters edge...
i want flight and fantasies...
to soar and live dreams...
i want heart-racing, dream-chasing adventure...
i want victorious salvation...
to conquer and complete...
to dance...
to run...
to see things i've never seen...
and taste things i've never heard of...
and live life abundantly...
i want to share...and laugh...and love....
i want to spin under the clouds until i fall to the grass in ecstacy...
i want to dive into clear cool waters...
and shake my hair dry in the breeze...
i want to eat leaves to survive...
to kiss in the rain...
and play hide and seek...
oh please lord..i want adventure...

thoughts of me..

i'm random..

inclined to explore the corners others pass by unknowingly...

and to balance on the edge of sidewalks and large cement parking blockers...

i lose focus pretty easily.. get lost in thoughts...

but i like to dance...

it's ok...just me, yeah?

looking back...

i'll probably be doing this again before the end of the year... but here it is, christmas eve of 2007. geez...where does the time go...

i've finished the hardest semester of my life.. i really didn't think i'd make it this far. i can't believe it. it's unreal. i'm kind of proud of myself. i feel like maybe i can possibly do anything. i can't imagine what it will feel like when i finish next semester.

pretty sure i clued him in.
i wonder if he'll come for me...
if he doesn't... it'll be okay....
i have so many things to share tho...
stories...discoveries... dreams... thoughts...adventures...family....
i think i'd like to share them with him...
but we'll see...

it's incredible to think of how much has happened since this time last year... i missed the Lord so much... my heart was so bare and broken... thank God for rescuing me... for loving me... for restoring my heart to the dances and dreams i reveled in before...
life with Him will be a dream...one way or another... i'm finally able to trust Him... i feel so safe and guarded...

His love is sweeter than life...

reality

i feel fake...
i feel like i'm not sure what reality is...
i'm not sure i really know how i feel...
or how i think...
i feel like i do things differently depending on who's around...
not necessarily intentionally...i guess i'm just that easily swayed...
i guess my opinions aren't that grounded...
is it wrong to be so flexible?
on some things, i think so...
on others...i think not...

sometimes i want to just go lay in the grass and stare up at the sky and let the world spin around me....
i haven't done it yet... it's usually been cold, i've been busy, or the ground is wet...

what would i be like if i were truly free from social norms, traditions, and laws?
free from opinions and expectations...?
free from the me that considers all those things?
what would i be?

trapped

MAN!!! i want to be FREE!!! i want to pack a bag and start walking!!

...but i have to study...
...i have to finish school...
...and i have to get my practice in...
...and i'm a girl...

UGH! LET ME GO!

yearning

so how do you go about praying for healing for someone?
how do you do it in love and humility?
....and how do you not freak out everyone around you....?

i wanted to talk to her...
i wanted to hear her voice...
i wanted to hear her heart...
i want you to touch her with what you've touched me with....

your heart is for healing
and restoration

for romance
and passion

your heart is for me
and her

i'm captivated...

desperation

so i was praying for this girl and i kept seeing this image of this child bowed down in desperation...

the only difference was that i saw a candle and not a vulture....

and there were thousands of these children laid out before me

i want to be so desperate for the Lord that if He doesn't meet my desires for Him then i'll die...

can we, who thrive on extra and abundance and supersized quantities, understand hunger?

can we, who are full of the teachings of man and have always had more than enough, understand desperation?