goodbyes to friends, hello new chapter

this week was full of goodbyes. i suppose it began by visiting my home church in campbellsville. then moorehead, ky to spend some precious last moments with sara, a dear friend of mine. my last 3 nights at UK hospital were very eventful. i was showered with generosity, kind words, good food. i even got a cookie cake that said "jokes" on it and a necklace reminding me to "be the change i want to see in the world" and gifts of tylenol and toothbrushes that will hopefully help some cameroonian soon to have headache relief and a brighter smile. saturday morning i was taken out for breakfast by some of the girls at work. it seems so surreal that i have to say goodbye to these women who've been such a joy to work with and know. the ladies of 5th floor at UK have taught me so much about caring for patients, serving people, and providing great medical care. i don't know what i'll do without having them by my side as excellent resources and friends! saturday night it really hit me that i was leaving. i think my heart broke a little bit, watching old friends go and sensing the finality of my moments. i've been so blessed to have such amazing friends this last year. sunday night my church prayed for me. it was really special hearing their words. i've learned so much about love and faith from these people. i've never known such a simple and kind community. they've really challenged me to be good to people, good to the planet, and to live faithfully and patiently.

my drive away from lexington tonight was a little lonely. i felt like a person who was choosing an experience instead of relationships. i could see the ways people might feel abandoned. it's not like that though. the people that have been in my life thus far have shaped me and inspired me in so many ways. i suppose this is my thank you note to them. all of them.

as for this next chapter of my life, i can hardly contain my excitement. i get to share all the things that have been shared with me. i get to give back a little. i feel like i'm about to fly a little bit. and while i'm sure my heart will break even more when i have to say goodbye to my family, i can only look forward with long awaited anticipation.

8 days

really it's like 7 days and 4 hours because we have to leave so early on the 15th. i drove to visit a friend yesterday. we went out for wings and a couple drinks. i just want to spend as much time as i can with the people i love.
i have the next week piled in my mind. i have so many things to think about.
saturday i'm going to try to come here again to visit this friend. she and i are very close.
i need to think about getting an adapter/converter for my camera battery while in africa.
i need a case to wear under my clothes to hide my money in.
i will speak at church on sunday about my trip.
i will work tonight tomorrow and friday, saying goodbye to the girls i've spent the majority of my time with...at work anyway.
i will go home on monday and leave on thursday morning early.
i will say goodbye.
i will cry.

it's so crazy that i really get to go. i'm so excited. i hope i do a good job. i hope i'm useful. i hope i don't forget to listen. i hope i learn so much. i hope the doctor and i get along well. i hope my camera doesn't get stolen. i hope it's fresh. i hope it's what i think it might be.

booo....

My little sister's sitting next to me, making a purse out of a piece of paper...all dressed in pink. She woke up this morning and as she stood in front of a mirror 4 times her size brushing her near-white hair she softly remarked, "I'm wearing pink" and made a content little smirk. Now she asks me my favorite color several times before she assumes that "you" means "red." I see her writing my name in red crayon surrounded by hearts.
I'm leaving her soon.

I spent a lot of time with the family this weekend. My other little sister who's smart and witty and completely loving, let me lay my head on her belly and she brushed my hair with her fingers til I fell asleep two nights ago. I'm gonna miss her so much.

And my mom. Always sure and usually right.

And my little brother, eager to help and totally kind. He usually asks me if he could cook me an omelet in the morning and always asks to help carry heavy boxes.
My oldest younger sister who's going through the teens and seems pissed off a lot of the time, but is smart and beautiful and doesn't always know but then knows it all too well.....

I'm just going to miss them. I was a little sad about leaving for the weekend.. just one weekend. I've cried a couple times just leaving them after spending a couple days when i'd see them again in the same...
I know it's so selfish. They're such a comfort to me. This last year when things were rough, or when I felt upset about work, or I made some bad choice, or I just plain missed them I would come home and depending on the hour I would knock on the door to my mom's pleased "theresa!" and crawl into bed between two huggy warm bodies and sleep until kid laughter or dog licks woke me up. I just enjoy being around people who live and love so purely and simply with no hidden motives, no stipulations or requirements. They've really taught me a lot about love.

All I know is that if nothing else does, memories of them will always keep me warm. Hopefully I'll be able to remember everything

visa arrival

i got my visa today! so i guess that means that i'm really going. they DID only assign me a three month visa, but hopefully the doctor can change that when i get there. hell, if i come back a month early maybe i'll try next summer to make a one-month medical trip to south america before i head to europe. we'll see.

getting ready

To my few and faithful readers (or just the random passerby):
I present my newest blog:

to africa

I'll still be posting here, but once overseas I may have limited resources/time and will aim to write in as few places as possible.
So, here is my official invitation to you to join in my endeavor to change the world.

tea in africa

sent my visa application off today! i hope i have everything i needed. i quadruple checked it and everything seemed to be in order. i spent $275 on the visa fee and application fee combined. $10 to mail it.
i still need bug repellent...which i guess i'm looking at $100 expense there. seems odd to spend that much on bug repellent but 1) it's a 4-month supply for use every day and 2) i'm doubtful of this type being available once in cameroon.
i also need a mosquito net.
eventually i should think about typing up a packing list. i planned on only having one carry-on pack, but with the bug repellent i suppose i'm going to have to place one underneath.

i think i'll be starting a new blog. one solely focused on africa. not sure where to start it or what to call it...

i had an interesting run-in with family yesterday. they were talking to me about my trip. they didn't understand why i wanted to go. one of my aunts declared, "if they made me go to africa, i would kill myself." i was pretty surprised and questioned, "really, ann? you'd KILL yourself?" and she affirmed, "yes. i would rather kill myself than go to africa." .....then they asked me if everyone in africa ran around naked.

i'm kind of amazed at people. i know they don't understand my point or purpose. hell, i don't even understand it all the time, but it's obvious they're completely ignorant of other cultures and people. i know i am ignorant. i would like to not be ignorant. i would like to learn and come back and tell them the stories of good people who aren't animals and all the smart things i'll learn from the doctor in africa who wears clothes. ...of course there will be new rules to learn while living in africa, but i'm willing to learn them and i believe i'll stay safe enough by following them. i'm not really worried. life happens. you live and you learn and you trust...and i won't let fear stand in my way. i can't. my heart will explode.
if anything was to happen, if at all possible i believe i would keep it from them. i'm not willing to affirm their prejudices. ...

...it's so close now! 28 days til i can have tea in africa!

1 month notice

in exactly 30 days i will be on my way to afrika.
my letter came...the very day i put my one month notice in at work!
call it coincidence, but it sure as hell is reassuring to me. ...i was thinking about worrying.
so here i am, with most of my documents in order. i called into work due to my excitement to get things rolling...can you blame me? i have 'lack-of-motion sickness.'

i feel so excited. i feel right. i'm so excited!