fizzled

so it really looks like blogger has fizzled out...guess not so many people are on here...which is good for me...cuz i kind of hated people i knew reading my crap ...people who i didn't really want inside my head....

so things...have changed. i had a man...and now i don't. i was this one girl...and now i'm another girl... kind of vague i know, but that's the best i can do.... i'm a working girl now...30 hours at least a week of work..not to mention 16 hours of classes and a little..okay...a LOT less than that for time spent on homework.... i'm not really the same girl that wrote all that other stuff...yeah...things have changed in the last year or so.... maybe (probably) it's because of the stuff i let seep into my life...the stuff that caught my off guard...but there was good in it...hidden underneath all the garbage there was good...a little glimmer of good....soo...i'm going to spend the next 6 months or prolly more taking out the trash that's piled up.... i really don't know where exactly to start.... it's kind of like walking into a room with dust and cobwebs and piles and piles and piles of clothes everywhere and your jewelry box dumped out in a corner and nonsense articles strewn about...and it makes such a unorganized insane clutter bath that you just sit there and stare for 20 minutes, staring into space thinking of who-knows-what, trying to get your mind off the impossible mess, but in the back of your head the whole time you're wondering where the hell you're supposed to start.... maybe someone will come along and help you get started, maybe you're stuck on you're own and you just gotta pull yourself together and pick up that first piece of trash that you'd wished you'd thrown away in the first place...oh well...i dunno.... Lord help me clean out my heart....