peace.

peace.

it's like a diamond hanging from the sky.
out of reach.

and those who need it...

like a child being dragged away from it's mother.
too weak to win.

like someone being swept into the void.
desperate for something to hold onto...
scraping the surface for something tangible and strong...

i ache.

the current towards the void is vast.
and the void.. the empty void.. echoes.

and i ache.
to hold onto something.
for love...
for peace..

bah!

my outbursts are inconceivable. is there any hope for someone as tumultuous as i?

bah!

the embarrassment.
diarrhea of the mind and mouth...

who will be my plug?
who will ignore the spill...or clean up after it?

forgive me...

strength

loneliness drives me to sin.

lack of community creates holes in me that liquor and lovers can't fill, no matter how many nor how much nor how often i consume them.

grace and love can save me.

i hope in the strength of the Lord, beyond all my weaknesses.

redeeming love

written by francine rivers....

if i could implant this book in my heart maybe i wouldn't be so quick to give up sometimes.

lord help me

gone now

anybody out there?
anyone else who feels the sting?
the emptiness that life will bring
spread so thin on the open floor
shadows laughing behind the door
closed closed closed to hope
desperate attempt to make an elope
closed closed closed to change
trapped in on the open range
i want more now
yeah i want more now
get this cat outta me
get this fat outta me
don't even know it, you're gone now
don't even show it, you're gone now

givin

favorite songs of the moment:
mistaken by strangers by the national
your smile is a drug by patrick park



your dark climbs over me.
shaggy shades of maybe wash me down
land slides on my sides
do i recognize this sound
sound of letting out letting go
giving up on saying no
a whole piece of me
needs a whole piece of you
to whole up this heart
that's been broken in two
you aren't mine.
you aren't mine.
but this feels divine
and i have no time
to wait
so pull me up now
drink out the me
yeah soak out the had been
and teach me to breathe