geez...have things changed..i've been through hell and back...that's what it seems..and mostly by choice...I am learning that a great amount of passivity early on in a situation has led me to a year or two of indecisiveness and lack of confidence in my opinions, passions, and conscience. I have made enough mistakes for a lifetime.... I have let my Godly passions fly out the window, along with my goals and my standards for life. I have broken promises, held back the truth, and ignored everything except the dark whirlwind of guilt and shame. I saw nothing but clouds before my eyes and felt nothing but momentary satisfactions followed by instantaneous lack of hope.

and now i've separated myself from situations that had me bound...yet still i suffer from the consequences of my sinful, selfish behavior...however, i'm licking my wounds in a way.. the film around me is slowly wearing thin... freedom is at my fingertips...forgiveness at my door... the light of hope returning to the heart of darkness....

will i ever be the girl i used to be?