deja vu

i feel so dark... and hopeless i guess... kind of pointless...
i want to call someone up and ask them if they believe in me... but already know what they'll say... of course they do... "but theresa... you've got to believe in yourself first..." how's that again? how do you overcome this? i haven't felt like this for a while... it's hard to hope when shades of grey are creeping in... i'm really too emotional... too sensitive... too unstable... i feel wasted...
they say praise gets you out of the depths... well what if i haven't the strength to look beyond my own circumstance... what if i don't want out because i'm afraid there really isn't an out... or that out never remains...and always falls away... just like people.

this is like deja vu of the dark ages...