dry heart

i sort of feel like my heart is dying.... i think it's being choked slowly by the comforts, by the large corporations, by the "needs" that are only "wants", by the consumption, by the technical responsibilities, by the wait to go, to be, to love....
this isn't what i hoped for...

he said to do what i wanted...go where i wanted. i want him... to wait for him, support him...and then be taken by him to adventure, generosity, and sacrifice... ...who knows what kind of life i want to lead. i want to chase it down....find it out. do i have to do it alone?

Lord, I know you're close... I'm aching for a difference here... Teach me to love the one in front of me... to be content... to live life as I'm supposed to...to go where You are... ...where are You?