Monday, September 15, 2008

things change

i guess we're friends... friends who like each other... beats me.

i keep wondering if i said enough... maybe i should have told him how crazy i was/am about him.. maybe i made him think i didn't think so much about him... but them i'm thinking...uhhh... he definitely had enough clues to know that if he wanted me..all he had to do was ask me to wait...and i'd wait til the world burned over... it's going to be odd getting over this one... but maybe not so hard... he didn't want me...or at least he wasn't ready for me... plain and simple. go on. live life. maybe one day he'll realize...but maybe not. ...i just thought we fit. we still fit. ...unfortunately it's not up to me.

i guess i have things to focus the Lord. i want to learn what community is. i want to learn how the Lord wants me to live. maybe there isn't a specific way we're supposed to live...but i want to know where i, my being, my soul, would thrive, would grow, would develop most erratically.... i want to know the Lord... i want to know how to love people...i want to know the best way to use my position and possessions to display God's love...i want to change the world's way of thinking from that of hate to love, self-sustaining to sharing...i want to change my way of thinking too.... i think a lot of healing is going to have to take place... i think there are things i need to deal with before i'm ready for much else.... i think i need to learn how to deal with things.... i really wanna be whole...

1 comment:

Dave Zeman said...

Don Lange did a song a long time ago... "no one hurt like a friend"... it is true.