my passion

i made the trip to new york this weekend... a random road trip that i'd like to discuss in further detail in another blog... but there were about 7 of us...and we spent a few hours in central park during out venture there. another girl and i were convicted to add some purpose to our visit so she and i set out to perhaps spread a little of the Good News to a couple of the hundreds that were passing by us each moment...it was the least we could do, i guess... i just couldn't stand there another minute and "enjoy" new york, while wondering in the back of my mind how many of those people were going to hell... i'm convicted even now...why didn't i tell more people...what and why do i fear? *sigh*... well.. that's another blog ha...
the friend i was with made mention at a passerby of the cute looks of her dog and within moments we were face to face with this woman and it was more than obvious of her eagerness to speak with us. So we talked with her...about all sorts of things. well... somewhere in there we were able to talk with her about our own faiths... we also shared some of our lives with her... like what i'm going to do after college and stuff like that... trying to figure out what i was looking to do with my life she asked me, "what's your passion?" and...i thought about it for a second... i'm good at a lot of things...like to do a lot of things... but my life revolves around Christ and Our relationship... so i said "Jesus"...
when i look at that answer and the situation i said it in...i meant it... every word of it... Christ is my passion... that's what my life revolves around...that's really all that consumes me, besides the times that i allow my flesh to reign in my mind... i obviously have sin in my life... but i can't stay away from God so long... He's my Love...my greatest Desire... my deepest Want...
sometimes i don't see it in my life... i see where i fail... i see where i completely turn my eyes from Him and choose opposing paths from His path... i also see times where it's OBVIOUS that He's speaking to me and i choose not to listen... i don't really do BAD things all the time... Good things...but i know Good things become Bad things if not done with His blessings and not in His will....
last night we went on another road trip...not so long as the first...and not for the same purpose... it was more for educational reasons, but i didn't share my faith with one person...i talked with the family seated behind me... and felt the whisper.... i talked with the wendy's server... and felt the whisper... if it's my greatest passion it should ever be on my speech... on my heart... on my mind... i'm going to be responsible for my actions... for not thoroughly caring enough to reach out to the lost or tired...
man, Jesus... i want a passion that's impossible to store up in my heart and not speak it out... forgive me...i don't want to preach at people...i don't want to condemn anyone... i just want to share the love that You have for all peoples... You deserve for them to know... "May the Lamb recieve the rewards of His sufferings"... please...help me to fall more in love with You, so that You are the first thing on my mind in the morning...the last thing there at night... and the One that consumes all the in-between time as well... it's kind of like that now... but i want more... Lord, You want more out of my life than something normal and regular... may You be the only thing people see in me... may my passion in You make me who i am...
we're called to be consumed with Christ... consumed... nothing left... ...brother or sister... how much are you willing to die to, so that you can reach your potential in Christ? does it really matter what people would make of us? ... does it really matter what we lose here on earth? ...i once knew a Christ-consumed man who single-handedly (with Him of course) started up 250 churches... how much of an impact are you making in the lives around you? there's always more to find in Christ...