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i don't know why i'm so desperate to make a difference... it's like maybe my life isn't worth anything unless it has a positive effect on another person... it feels a little bare right now... i want to go to china to pick up one of those babies... i know i know...there are differences you can make here... i will... it's hard to find them in a christian campus where everyone has their windshields tinted and their hearts in cages....God forbid someone see in... (i'm guilty too).... i want to learn to be free here in corporate america before i go somewhere else tho... i wonder if it's possible... i'm a bird meant to fly....
i was sitting in the ER yesterday.... waiting for a good friend to finish getting her tour of the area she'll be working in for the next couple months... i didn't see anyone in real bad shape, but...they were in the emergency room soooooo.... obviously something was bothering them. i hesitated praying for them because i was wearing my white scrubs with my name and CU on it...i let the opportunity slip by.... maybe i wouldn't have been the only one going home that day had i decided to risk it... what could they do to me anyway? that'd be a little hypocritical to punish me for praying while i represent a christian school... i hate fear and cowardlinesses. especially when it's not really a risk... gosh! ridiculous... let loose of me, world....