Tuesday, February 19, 2008


sometimes i'm tempted to tell everyone everything about my life... i don't know why i feel so driven to be transparent...to lay out my heart... i don't have anything to show off that's for sure.... my life is the image of brokenness and sometimes bondage.... i have sin in my life that has been with me since 8th grade... and i want to tell them about the freedom found in Christ? it doesn't make much sense does it? ...not to me either. your guess is as good as mine.

ooh but the freedom that's in Christ... shewt... what freedom, you say? well... the freedom to be broken...the freedom to be... the freedom to find life amidst death... it's there...i want it. i've tasted it.

tonight at bcm was so sweet. worship was incredible. Lord YOU are so sweet. i want everyone to feel it...to find it... to be set free to be....

oh, but transparency is good. i think because the Lord can use to it relate to people. i once heard this story about a boy who never had been to church and they were going on a youth trip. well, it rained and the car got stuck or something and the pastor/busdriver got out to fix it, got mad and cussed....of course, he felt guilty for 'ruining his witness,' but regardless that little boy got saved that weekend and when the pastor asked him, 'how?'..... 'well,' said the little boy...'i figured if i God could save someone like you, he could save someone like me too.'

i'm not going to begin to act like my life is together... shewt... i'm definitely a broken vessel... .maybe you think i'm foolish to think sharing my dirt can change people...i dunno.. i've said it before: the Lord was, is, and will ever be the hope of the world...regardless of my faithfulness (or anything else for that matter)....thank you Jesus...but i hear the Lord likes to use our weakness to show his strength... so... it's transparency over opaque for me... just for the chance of setting one person free...

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