work

i work two days a week.
i'm enjoying it.
i stay up all day saturday, go into work til sunday morning. sleep til sunday evening. get up and spend a few hours doing odd things and then go into work until monday morning. where i'll sleep for a bit and start my week.

it's a relief getting off on monday morning. it's a relief knowing on sunday morning that i've got half of my "work week" finished. i don't want to pick up extra days.

why?

i don't think i'm lazy. i think the work is heavy...the emotional weight alone is enough to crush me... i think i'm a wussy. my patients have to face their suffering everyday and i get to walk away from it. i don't have to face it but twice a week.

last night was intense. i walked in and already one antibiotic was an hour and half late and another was due on a lady who needed a new IV because the nurse before "just didn't have time for it" (quoted the patient...and who knows how true it is). then some people were working with the medication administration between 8 and 9 which is the main time for passing out bedtime meds, so that was awesome.

already the tension was high.
and it didn't really stop.

at ten three of my patients had attractably abnormal vital sign results. i had medications due that were late. those two things alone are enough to keep you haggard.

i kind of like it. i like staying up on my toes. keeping busy. saving people. but i only like it if i do the job well. if i can do everything i need to do. last night i feel fairly comfortable that i was able to keep my priorities straight. who knows how much i missed.....

i hope i missed nothing...i always hope i missed nothing...