Saturday, April 24, 2010


i'm not very good at this.

this meeting new friends.

this socializing.

especially when they're not interested enough to ask me something ...anything.

i enjoyed the show. definitely.

i tried to "involve them" in my thoughts of it.
tried to see their own.

it's weird..because..i love people. i love meeting NEW people.
i just look like some friendless, antisocial fool, which i am not.

what did i do wrong?

just to clear you up:
my best friend/roommate left me for texas so i'm trying to broaden my friendship bubble.'s been rather difficult, but i am rather impatient. this new guy from the church i go to 'invited' me to this benefit thing. i go. hang out. spot them mid-evening. meet them. spend the rest of the night enjoying/critiquing the show and occasionally trying to make conversation. granted, loud music is never an efficient assistant to the conversationalist, however.. ......i just think you can work your way around such obstacles to make friends/help someone feel welcome.....but.who am i? and what the fuck do i know. the end of the evening when he tells me 'they' are going to eat....and perhaps he'll see me at church tomorrow...without further adieu...i, first, make a failed attempt to say my 'goodbye's and 'nice meeting you's...and then...leave. i am....mascara streaked and hungry.

ready for bed.

maybe tomorrow.

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