filet

ok...so i just laid myself bare today... i "filleted" myself. well.. let's start from the beginning...

so last night some people were going to wal*mart to 'pray for people.' it didn't really freak me out...it didn't scare me...i didn't feel like i would be embarrassed... but i didn't think i should go... i felt... nothing. so i stayed..

tonight i went. i wasn't sure how i felt. so i went anyways. maybe just to watch.
but i ended up talking to these two girls...from high school. and i ended up being real honest and open with them. i told them stuff. stuff i guess i wouldn't just tell anybody, but at the same time i guess i would tell anybody. if i felt like it. i'm kind of not worried about what people think about me. i know who i am and where the Lord's taken me from. and i want people to know... because i really have nothing to brag about. i really have nothing to highlight in my life except the fact that whatever is good has been put there by God....or maybe just simply that the only thing good in my life IS God...

you know what i was just thinking? well...first i was wondering if other christians would want to be represented by someone like me....someone who did bad things such a short time ago.... someone who's so stained and broken..... but then i'm reminded... look who Christ picked to represent Him.... Peter...the liar, coward, and failure... and look who God chose to represent Him...David...the greedy adulterer and murderer....

of course, that's no excuse to sin...
...but it sure gives me hope...

i don't want to be complacent ...and i want more good to come from my life...
...but i'm really glad that i'm loved...cherished...adored...and pursued where i'm at....
i'm real glad He sees me.

don't leave me here Lord....