Wednesday, December 15, 2004


i had to go speak with some girls this morning. some beautiful high school girls...i didn't get the chance to converse with them about how their spiritual lives were going, but i read a devotion and talked about how important it was to know what you believed and why... (something i really struggled with when pushed out into the 'real world')..
i definitely wasn't prepared for it considering my own spiritual state... but it went well...the knowledge and everything came from Him...i had nothing. but when i got back i was able to talk to sarah a was good..she understood...we faced and recognized that something was wrong in both our lives, but we never really came to an agreement how things could be fixed. so i went to sleep...
and kim called... a fresh breeze in air so stale... i woke up and went to her and we talked only for a few moments...
"kim, i just don't know what has happened... about a month ago things were awesome..then someone spoke a Word over me...i made a serious commitment for Christ..and i sacrificed something... and now here i am...over a series of minor dramatic events i've lost sight of my Life.."
"you can't let things continue as they are.. you have to get back.."
an exasperated sigh "yeah i don't know how"
at first i must admit my flesh says, "it's impossible..." "you can't do it..."
but i have to...i miss my Lord.. life just isn't worth living this way... no passion... no love..
so determination... this fragrance of hope has drifted through... i Will find my way again. i Will allow Him to use me...i WILL His will in my life... once again now... things are going to be okay...

stotrum stotrum stotrum for fresh breezes

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